JEWELS

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.

I was born and raised in the South -- I'm a Southern Belle through and through. My mom, Gram-maw, and Pap-paw all hailed from North Carolina, and I grew up listening to the sweet cadence of their Southern slang. These are just a few of the phrases that I thought everyone, everywhere, said:

He's so lazy he couldn't be a taster in a pie factory.
They threw him in jail 'cause he was paradin' around nekkid as a jaybird!
Jeez O'Hannah!
What in Sam Hill was he doin'?
He was runnin' 'round like a chicken with its head cut off.
Bless his heart, he's dumber than a stump.
That's a tough row to hoe.
That man's nothin' but a no-count liar.
You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. 
He cut his leg and was bleedin' like a stuck pig. 
Don't just sit there like a bump on a log, get up and help!
What in tarnation are you doin'?  
Don't sass me or I'll send you out for a switch.
I'm madder'n a wet hen.
I'll jerk a knot in your tail!
It's hunkey-dorey.
My stars and garters!
Quit piddlin' around so we can get outta here.
Great day in the mornin'!
She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet.
She's ugly as sin.
She's havin' a hissy fit.
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Jeet yet? I'm fixin' to cook a mess o' collards.
I'm full as a tick. I put some Goobers in my RC cola and then I had a pack o'Nabs.
I'm plum tuckered out now.

It was a colorful upbringing, to say the least. I reckon it gave me a Pure-T love for words and a turn of the phrase. I'm fit to be tied that these idioms are dying out -- it gets me all riled up. To me, they're the precious jewels of my Southern heritage. I'm stubborn as a mule, though, y'all. God willin' and the creek don't rise, I'll be talkin' Southernspeak the rest of my born days. Now, come over cheer and gimme some sugar.