We are bombarded all the time with positive motivational messages: You can do anything!! Keep going!! Visualize it and you can achieve it! Believe! Believe! Believe!!
Rarely do we hear a negative word. But today, I'm here to tell you -- DON'T.
Here
DON'T get down on yourself when you fail at something -- and trust me, there will come a time when you fail. Miserably. It's part of being human.
DON'T blame yourself. We women tend to think everything is our fault. It's not. Sometimes it's something someone else has done; sometimes it's just circumstance. Don't always think it's all about you.
DON'T think you have to do it all. You don't have to be CEO of one of the biggest corporations in the world (despite books being peddled about this very subject right now), president of the PTO, den leader of the cub scouts, and teach Sunday School, read to the kindergarten students, head up the fundraising committee, volunteer to be team mom, clean your home yourself, scrapbook, make jewelry, take ballroom dancing, go to Weight Watchers, garden, cook gourmet meals, and read the Kama Sutra in your spare time. You really don't. We place unreasonably high expectations on ourselves. Pick the ones you sincerely want to do, and do those. Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
DON'T feel your children are a reflection of your parenting skills. They're not. You can do everything right, and your child will still make dreadful mistakes. Or you can do everything wrong, and your child will become a minister, or -- God forbid -- president of the United States. It's all a crap shoot.
Don't regret. What's in the past is over. Not one minute of second-guessing or wishful thinking or regretting and fretting is going to change it. Forgive yourself and move on.
Don't be judgmental. This applies to pointing the finger at others, of course, but mainly, don't judge yourself harshly. You are doing the best you can with what you have to work with in this particular moment in history. Other people are judging you enough, you certainly don't need to add to that. Be kind, and love yourself.
Don't give up. Yeah, we've come full circle in this post now. You CAN do anything. Really. Just keep going and believe in yourself.
You are doing the best you can with what you have to work with in this particular moment in history. This is the line I will take with me from this post...I am my own worst critic, and there are times when this little reminder will be very useful!
ReplyDeleteI think we are ALL our own worst critics!! Why is that? We say things to ourselves that we would never even begin to think about other people. As I'm getting older, I want to let go of the judgment. Everyone's just doing the best they can, and I think at the bottom of it, everyone just wants to be loved for who they are.
ReplyDeleteAhh..well said! I am learning. Yesterday, my 28 year-old son told me a day was not wasted if I'd spent it enjoying my home, resting, relaxing and being at peace. Indeed!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Patsy.
Interesting point..As a TK teacher, I am constantly told by my superiors in the biz, "Never say DON'T to children. Be positive, present the alternative first. For example, instead of staying, "DON'T RUN!" as a child careens down a concrete ramp, I should react with this response, "Please Walk." Jeesh!
Hooray on your first point, but thumbs down on the idea that we can't say "Don't" to our children.
DeleteThose are some really great don'ts. Thanks for the post.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for reading them, Heidi!!
Delete