For My Children

Dear Jessica, Brendan, Ashton and Christian,

Two years after I first had this wild notion, I finally did it. I took the plunge and registered for my first marathon. Yikes!!!

My goal since I finished the Couch to 5k program has been to do a full by the time I'm 55.  In  running Disney this January, I'll eke under that by just two days.

I want you to be there with me. Dad, all four of you, with your spouses, kids -- the whole happy, tumbling, chaotic mob of you. I want to share this milestone in my life with the people I love most. I want you to see me cross that finish line.

After all, you've been with me through so many events and occurrences in my life -- the good, the bad and, yes, the ugly. The most amazing  and happiest: the days you were born, although of course none of you remember that. You've been there through the years that I was learning to be a mom...how to hold you, bathe you, feed you, protect you, teach you, love you. 

You were my world. 

You have seen me at my lowest -- the times I was tired, short with you, yelled at you, tuned you out when I should have been listening. The times we argued. Wounded each other. But through that, loved. Now I would like for you to be there to witness something powerful.

All the good that I have tried to do in my life, I have done for you. I've tried to show you what love, faith, honesty, responsibility, empathy and dedication mean. Now I'd like to show you one more thing.

By the time I run this marathon, I will have put in well over 4 months of training. I will have run hundreds of miles. I'll have sweated buckets, thrown up, cried, fallen, gotten back up and run some more. It's going to be grueling, I already know that. I am not fast, athletic or confident.

But here is what I want you to know. 

I want you to know it's never too late to chase your dreams. No matter what life hands you, you always have a choice. You can follow any path you want, write your own chapter, make your own movie, sing your own song. Age doesn't crush your dreams and desires. Age doesn't mean you have to surrender, let go of what you want to do in life. It's all there for the taking. Reach out and work hard for your dreams.

You can do whatever you set your mind to do. Fear is a liar and whispers relentlessly in your head. Refuse to listen to it, and boot it right out of there. Yes, I am terrified about undertaking this race. But I am going to spit in fear's face, look deep into its eyes, and see for myself that it is a fraud. Do I know I can run a marathon? No. Most days I am petrified I will fail. But I know I am going to give it everything I've got to finish, no matter what. Even if I have to crawl.

I want you to know what you're made of. You come from a long line of strong men and women, and I don't mean physical prowess. We have guts. We do what has to be done. We endure; we prevail. And that's in your very marrow.

I want you to see the value of commitment. That by working hard, sticking to something even when you don't feel like it, doing the same tough things day in and day out, you will succeed. Whether it's in a race, a job, your marriage, or life, perseverance and passion will see you through. 

I want you to understand the significance of faith. Having faith in something bigger than yourself gives life meaning. It forces you to think outside your own self, nurtures compassion, expands love. Have faith in yourself, your family, and God. Not necessarily in that order.

I want you, most of all,  to know and remember my love for you. You are all grown now, with your own lives, and the busyness that all our separateness entails. We don't get to talk to each other every day. Some of us don't see each other as often as we'd like. I want you to know that I carry each of you in my heart, every single day, and I will be taking you along with me during every step of this race.

While I run, I'll be praying for the special people in my life. I will be dedicating a mile to each of you. You all have meant everything to me, and your lives have made me who I am. I will thank God for the gift of your life, for the privilege of being your mother, and for the joy of seeing who you have become.

You are my world.

I wish I could give it to you. But instead, I'll try to give you the best of me. I love you.

Always,  Mom

A Company With Sole

I am super excited to announce that I am now an ambassador for Kindrunner.com! This company, whose tagline is, "It pays to be kind", is the first socially responsible ecommerce site for runners who want to minimize their environmental impact and make a difference in the world.

The Environmental Factor
Have you ever wondered what happens to your old running shoes when you toss them in the trash? According to Mike Conforti, one of the co-founders of Kindrunner.com, most shoes end up in a landfill less than 10 miles from your home. A whopping 50 years later, they're still there AND in wearable condition, because it takes up to 100 years to biodegrade. Think about how many shoes you have -- and then multiply that by the millions of people who run.

For each pair of shoes purchased from Kindrunner.com, your old pair of running shoes can be returned and then you'll receive a $10 Kindness Cash Reward credit. (You can redeem it instantly or accumulate them over time.) You're also encouraged to reuse packaging  materials when you return your old shoes, so the shipping process is environmentally friendly too!

The Human Kindness Factor
Here's the best part. Most running shoes are still in wearable condition when they're discarded. They might not be good enough to run in, but for someone who has no shoes at all, they are perfectly fine to wear. Kindrunner.com, through its global shoe donation partnerships with Soles4Souls and The MORE Foundation Group, ensures that your old shoes go DIRECTLY to someone in need. These shoes will provide basic transportation and help prevent injury and disease in developing countries. Who doesn't get excited over that???

Here's The Kicker
Kindrunner.com's Virtual Running Shop (tm)  helps you find the best shoe for you. It's filled with expert staff videos profiling each product offered. A durability mileage rating and comparable alternatives are provided for each product as well. And if you need more help, Professor Fit (tm) and his experienced staff are always available so you'll find that perfect running shoe you're looking for. You are going to find what you need at Kindrunner.com.

Best of All
The first 500 customers who purchase shoes will get a free pair of running socks with every pair of shoes purchased FOR LIFE. So go check out Kindrunner.com. It's the perfect pairing of helping both the planet AND someone less fortunate -- while doing something all runners love to do -- buying new shoes!! It doesn't get much better than this.

Visit Kindrunner.com, and connect at Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and Facebook.

UNSTOPPABLE

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.




                                                                             

This is the year I will be unstoppable. After a rocky start with my sprained ankle, I've slacked off and have not been as dedicated as I was last year. I set so many amazing goals for 2013, and if I keep this pace, I will never reach them.

I KNOW this path leads to disappointment in myself. So:

Enough is enough. 

I am going to recommit, push myself harder, eat better, lose weight that has been creeping back on, look for more ways to get outside my comfort zone....in short, I'm going to be stronger, braver, kinder and unstoppable. This is the year I will be fierce.

GAME.

ON.

TRUTH

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.

I was totally blown away the other day when I read the following passage from Eckhart Tolle:

“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.” 

All my life, I've listened to that voice tell me bad things about myself. That I'm not pretty, that I'm stupid,  that I'm not loving, that I'm not kind, that I'm not as good as anyone else. I believed this voice inside my head. After all, it was the "real me" being honest, right? I knew the hidden, dark side to my soul, right? I knew the reality of who I am, right? That voice was right, right?

Even though....
People had never run screaming from me in revulsion when I walked into a room.

Even though....
I graduated from one of the top 10 journalism schools in the nation.

Even though....
It gave me great joy to help others, and I'd been involved with numerous charitable activities over the years.

Even though....
I helped the homeless, volunteered at schools and church, stood up for the voiceless, and was there for  friends and those I don't know.

Even though....
I had been successful in so many endeavors.

That voice was right, right?? Right???

So I felt absolutely thunderstruck when I read that quote. What if that voice -- WHAT IF -- it really wasn't who I was?? What if I really wasn't the "bad" person I was always telling myself was the real me? What if.....????

My world shifted. Something cracked open. Light broke through.

TRUTH.

I am a good and decent person. 

I love.

I am.

Truth.

I will no longer hide it.

I will live it.

SNORT

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.

They say laughter is the best medicine, and if that's true, then I'm doped to the gills. I love to laugh, and I love being funny. It's like main-lining heroin. (I've never actually done heroin, so I'm just guessing here. It's called artistic license.)

Anyway, the best laughter is the kind you just can't control -- it has a crazed mind of its own, and you're helplessly in over your head. You giggle, you guffaw, you roar from the top of the precipice-- right there on the edge, you lose balance, topple over and dive right in. And next comes... the dreaded SNORT. That sets you off all over again. You laugh till tears run down your cheeks (and if you're a woman, they may run down your legs too. TMI? Come on, you know what I'm talking about. >wink<)

Milk spewing out of your nose, slapping your thigh (not your mama), holding your aching stomach, begging someone to STOP, stop, wait a minute, I've got to BREATHE -- man, those are signs of a good laugh and a good time. Laughter is a delight, a joy, the cherry on the top of life, a romp of the soul. I highly recommend it.

                                                                                                                              Who doesn't love laughing babies?        

                    

RELAXIN'

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.

                                                                       

Ahhhhhhhhhh...

Antigua

How I hated to leave you....

But now it's back to

REALITY

QUEST

I'm participating in this year's A-Z challenge, and so will be posting daily about a subject focusing on a letter of the alphabet.

I'm on a quest for life.

I've lived a safe little existance until now.

Now I have a raging desire. A roaring unquenchable thirst for adventure. To pack what's left of my time with experience--

Sights, sounds, tastes, touches
Feeling, laughter, love, and joy.

The Native Americans had something like this -- when a boy was making the transition into manhood, he would go on a Spirit Quest.

In some ways, my journey is similar. By challenging myself to try new things, to push myself out of what is my known world, I am discovering who I really am. For the first time in 54 years, I am beginning to like this daring person I'm becoming.