Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Love Letter to My Body

Dear Body,

I hate to say it out loud -- but for most of my life, I haven't liked you. Oh, there was a time, back when I was a little child, that I thought you were the greatest. I can remember, dimly, when you ran  like the wind, and you were pretty, and strong, and I felt free. But then I got a little older, and people began calling you names:

Toothpick
Skinny
Too tall
Anorexic
Sickly looking
Bony
Flat-chested
Scrawny
Knock-kneed
Ugly
Never will find a husband

And I believed them.

I'm sorry. I should have closed my ears to all the hurts and insults. But I was just a child, and I thought they knew what they were talking about. After all, they were the adults. They were gods.

I grew up believing this as Truth. Then I met a man who loved me. We married, and we had  four children, but you had six miscarriages too. I hated you for those deep and basic betrayals. It is so simple for so many women -- you couldn't carry a child for me?? What was wrong with you?

I aged. My youth passed, and you started to wrinkle, get flabby, and sag. For heavens' sake, could you not hold out a little longer? I'd never been beautiful, so didn't you owe me? You'd think you at least could have waited a little longer before you started giving out on me.

I got sick. The doctors couldn't find out what was wrong. I was practically bedridden for a year. I thought you were dying. Then one day, I could feel you getting a little stronger. Each day you got a little better.

Not long after that, our daughter told me about a running program she was doing. You'd never exercised before in your life; I don't know why she thought we'd like it. But on New Year's Day 2011, at the age of 52, I decided you could do it.

You surprised me. In fact, you amazed me. You did everything I asked you to do. Oh, you complained about it. You wanted to give up. I put you through a lot, and you groaned, hurt, were weak, and sweated a lot. But...you did it. 

And you got better at it. With every punishment I meted out, you got stronger. I began to treat you better. I fed you healthier meals, and gave you more water, and stopped eating things that were bad for you. I began to give you more exercise. I began to push you to your limits.

You blossomed. Now to my admiration, you are strong and healthy. You have taken me places I never thought you could. You have done things I never believed you would. And --


I see you for who you are. 
Really see you.
And here are the names I call you now:

Strong.
Dedicated.
Determined.
Able.
Beautiful.
Warrior.

And now I love you with the love you have always deserved.


Thank you for sticking it out and believing in me, even when I didn't believe in you. You taught me well.


With all my love~
Us

(This was written as participation in the syncroblog SheLoves: A Love Letter To My Body.)

15 comments:

  1. Thanks so much. I want women to know -- we are all beautiful. Period.

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  2. Oh my word... very heartwrenching - and simply beautiful...

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  3. True for a lot of us, I suspect, possibly with a few different (but still very wrong) names. Woo hoo....I just turned 52. Watch out body, I am following in my friend Patsy's footsteps!

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  4. And we are going to have an amazinnnnnnnggggg ride, Kim!

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  5. Thanks for your honesty. My peers called me Big Bird drew cartoon pictures of me.:(

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  6. Oh, I am SO sorry that happened to you. When I was in 8th grade, I wore a red dress to school one day and was called Red Rover the rest of the year. THIS is what we should teach our children -- that their unkind words, which they won't remember, can be a wound carried deep inside another person for the rest of that person's life. While I have "gotten over it," it's still there inside me somewhere, that new girl at school who so desperately wanted to fit in. I hope your life has been filled with love and that you know that you are beautiful and feel that in your bones!!

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  7. I love this Patsy. We all have self images that we have to live with. The funny thing is that we never think anyone else has issues just us. You are amazing :)

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  8. Wonderful! Our bodies are to be loved for what they do, not for what the look like! This is a message I hope my children internalize very early on. :)

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  9. What a beautiful piece! Perhaps everyone should be required to do this at least once in their lives. *grin*

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  10. Thanks, Adams Family Madhouse. I started my facebook page by the same name for just that very reason. I want everyone to know they are beautiful and we all have the same thoughts, insecurities, issues, etc...but we can all live wonderful lives!

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  11. Ellie C, my prayer is that all children will learn that, especially our girls... :)

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  12. Thanks so much, Chris!! I agree, everyone should write a love letter to their body. I'd love to read them, too. I guess I am just that nosy. :)

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